It is often said that in order for any relationship to work, there is a substantial level of compromise and, "give and take." I often witnessed as two people met, dated, committed their undying love towards each other and then somewhere down the line, someone was expected to change--change the way they dressed, change their friends, change their career, change hair style and on and on. Tragic. I had reached a point in my life where I truly loved my life and who I was and there was no way I was about to give any of that up--not even for love. I had the career of my dreams, lived in the city of my dreams, and was fortunate enough to have accomplished every life goal I set-out to achieve, including going to Miss America and working on Capitol Hill. Marriage was never part of my life plan and I was content and at peace with that.
So, how did I end up married? Well, I ask myself this question every night and every morning as I lovingly look at my husband's handsome face. He was not part of, "the plan,"so why is my finger adorned with the most beautiful ring, why did I just spend a year conflicted about table settings and floral arrangements, and why do I feel so much more in love with my life and who I am? Honestly, I have no clue. You see, my husband is truly the greatest thing to ever happen to me. He is my truth, my best friend, and the one constant in my life outside of my family. Not once has he ever asked or expected me to compromise, change, or give up any part of who I am. He believes in me far more than I do and no matter how difficult the situation, he tells it like it is while reminding me of how far worse things could be and always seems to find the positive side of things. His love is humbling and I have realized that before him, I never truly knew what love was. Prior to my husband, love was a concept. With him, it is a reality.
I have learned a lot about the meaning of marriage in these past two weeks since saying, "I do," and for that I feel truly grateful to have entered this unexpected stage in life. Walking down the isle was the most effortless thing I have ever done--like breathing. My husband truly amazes me with the stoic way he has taken on his new role. It's as if there's a superhero living under my roof. Yet, I have to remember that at the end of the day he is just as human as I am. Therefore, I must never take for granted, not just what he does for me and our marriage, but for the crystal clear way he loves me. I won't profess to be a pro at love or marriage, but I think there is definitely truth to the old adage to, "stay true to who you are." Anyone worth having your heart will accept it as is and 100% for who you are. The gift of loving, honoring, and respecting ourselves--creates the manifestation in realizing our true life's journey.
Today, I asked my husband if he thinks I've changed at all since the first day we met. He simply looked at me, grinned, and shook his head no. I feel exactly the same ways about him. For me the most important vow a couple can make is to, "stay true," not to each other, but to themselves as individuals. When you can walk through life, "staying true," to who YOU are, you create the strongest foundation needed to build and start a life on. When you think you have found love, ask yourself if he/she loves, respects, and honors themselves. If they are still struggling in any of these areas, then they probably aren't ready. When you can stay true to who you are, you can stay true to those you love, the promises you have made, and the life you want to live. Love yourself always and that which is meant to be will find its way.
With love,
Mrs. Ane :)
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